Earth Defence Force: Don’t be on the Fence…er

When Nick rattled my cage this morning, I was taken aback. I was not woken with his usual demands of “dance, monkey dance!”. Instead, to my surprise, he tossed a typewriter in. So, after completing the entire works of Shakespeare, I have been instructed to introduce you to the Fencer in Earth Defence Force 5. Or, to those in the know, EDF 5.

Earth Defence Force! EDF!

Now, as everyone knows, EDF is a graphical interface training us for the likely event that we are invaded by “aliens”. Said “aliens” have tamed giant insects to do their bidding. These insects are so different from those on earth that we will name them after letters from the Greek Alphabet.

I mainly use another class in EDF, but its the crazy, silly, over-the-top antics, that makes the fencer the perfect secondary character.

Fencers are slow. Like ‘dead sloth wading through treacle’ slow

Fencer Wayne
Earth Defence Force big fencer
It’s hammer time

The Fencer

Fencers are slow. Like ‘dead sloth wading through treacle’ slow. So, you just waddle out into the open and act like bait. You don’t need to pull off crazy reflexes to dodge. Or manage your power supply or be ‘that guy’. You now. The one who didn’t even bring a weapon and has to drunk call his buddies at 2 am to get him out of shit. You just stand there. Why? Because you are not locked in this battle field with the enemy. They are locked in there with you!

You may have gathered that you bring the armour (health) to the battle, and that’s because you’re the tank. But that isn’t where the fun starts. Ever wanted to channel your inner Thor? Bring the hammer. You have a crush on a tank and want to show off your big gun? Strap a 30 mm cannon to your arm. Maybe you should take the automatic shotgun. But the Gatling gun looks like it might be a better tool for the job. What do you choose? How is it possible to choose!? The answer is, you don’t. You bring them all! You dual wield and everything in your vision turns to red mist! Friends, foes, buildings, that tank you had a crush on, its all gone. And all that’s left is to laugh maniacally and hope to god that there are no drones.

Drones! My only weakness.

Earth Defence Force 5 fencer

Other useless information

If you have ever felt uselessly slow, the fencer is equipped with a rocket jump and a rocket dash. No idea what that’s about. I suppose if you get tired of your downed team mates’ singing you can use these to go over and revive them. I promise it’s because of the annoying singing that you revive them and not because you want to kill them again. But accidents happen…

If you get bored of the weapons mentioned above. you can also equip mortars, exploding spears and a shield. The shield is an option. I have no idea what it does. I suppose it could be useful if you could strap an air-raider to it…


Fencers are the only option when you need to hard carry like that little tortoise that beat the hare.

EDF 5 is a co-op shooter that is more fun than putting Trevor in a sack with an angry Honey Badger. Do your part, and join the cause!

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